In Life, You Always Know When You’re The Winner & When You’re The Loser
Let go of your ego to find out
Stressful times are a good indicator of your character, ever heard that one before?
Well, I have. Heard and experienced the real meaning behind those words. I have seen masks fall off. I have seen average people turn into heroes. Normally, the little things give away the true nature of people. You just need to observe.
I have a special friend. She’s a good friend because she stayed with me when it was difficult, when I needed someone to understand my overwhelming emotions and acknowledge how much my life sucked then. But she is special because, in life and work, she chooses to rise above pettiness and solve problems.
It’s always a choice, don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.
What you do once you stop listening to the ego will tell you a lot about your choice. If you’re a winner, you’ll know. If you’re a loser, you’ll know too.
The winner is the optimist
The winner finds creative ways to come out of a challenging situation, always willing to try something new. The winner does not focus on the naysayers. Only on what needs to be done.
The loser is the pessimist
The loser whines before trying something new if at all, and usually gives up after the first defeat. The loser doesn’t welcome change. The loser focuses on the naysayers.
You will find the winners and losers among you. But you will also find them within you. Always at war with the other.
There is always a solid reason behind this choice. It often has to do with self-preservation before anything else.
Once my boss crossed a line with a client because she had nagged a lot. And put forth unrealistic demands. He never bothered to check in with her because she was not worth his time. This was before her nagging began. One day, she confronted him about his absence among other things. He gaslighted her and was extremely rude. When I tried to intervene, he asked me to gaslight her too, until she calmed down and let it slide.
The whole time, he operated from his ego. He didn’t consider a different approach to address her needs. He didn’t want to accept his mistake. He was a senior. She was a junior. That was the justification he needed.
The demanding nature of today
Every day, the world demands more from us. LinkedIn tells us to be more efficient and productive. Competition, hypothetical and real, is somehow always ahead. On the surface, many people are mental health advocates. But all that goes down the drain once a minor inconvenience arises. The people above need results and those around have standards. No one gives a shit about feelings.
In a world full of many people who expect too much, make fake promises, and are risk-averse, there is little probability of the winners surpassing the losers.
Those of us who have managed to gain something worthwhile don’t want to let it go. It can be a well-paying job with no work-life balance, a good school way out of our budget, and even a doomed marriage that appears blissful to outsiders.
We would rather suffer in silence than acknowledge the problem. Acknowledging a problem means working towards a solution, and a solution might not be in favor of the perception we have created. How will we keep up appearances? How will we face people? Fear of judgement takes over. And we take the easy way out. We channel the inner loser.
The same holds true when it concerns others. When it’s easy to let panic ensue and keep people intimidated, only someone with real character like my friend steps up and looks for a way out. This is why she is a winner in life.
Each of us can be better
We will never be perfect. We will never be free of insecurities. But we can strive to be better. If we let go of our ego, choose to embrace the uncomfortable aspect of a situation, and see how we can be of service to others, we can be winners.
The loser will present a landscape of problems. The winner will choose to believe that a solution exists for every problem.
The loser will want to give up altogether. The winner will pause and think about ways to make a situation better.
The loser will not even try because of fear of failure. The winner will try despite that fear.
We choose who we want to be in life.
