What If Communication Extended Beyond A Skill On Our Resume?
Everyone deserves the chance to be heard and understood
Often when you witness a misunderstanding unfold in a movie, you can’t help but wonder how easy it is to avoid it if the characters just talked to each other.
Unfortunately, humans don’t work that way.
We are very objective when we’re mere spectators and not the subject of a misunderstanding but as soon as it becomes personal, rational thinking goes out the window. We prefer to assume things about situations rather than confront the person directly involved in that situation.
God forbid if we confront and listen to one another without getting defensive!
The other day my father was dropping me off for work. We were running late. He was trying to reach my mother for something urgent through a call. After only three rings and no response from her, Papa got frustrated and said, “What good are phones if none of you ever receive any calls?” Just a minute later, my mother called back.
Perhaps it was the stress and the momentary loss of control, but something made my father blame us all. He did not stop to think about why my mother couldn’t receive his call. And if I had suggested something, he would have gotten defensive. So I kept quiet.
Once I was part of a group discussion for a future project with my colleagues. A few individuals wanted me to do something I didn’t want to. There were implications and unclear demands. They wanted me to agree without reading too much into the situation.
But I didn’t. I straight-up said no, told them I wasn’t hired for this job and had no interest in doing this.
Saying no would have been difficult if I showed fear or second-guessed myself. So I kept my response short and simple. That was all I needed to do.
As a team, we agreed to divide responsibilities in line with the goals of each team member. I later told my boss about my long-term goals because I wanted her to know I was looking to work in a direction. Because my boss was willing to listen without being defensive, we ended up having a great conversation.
Over the years, I’ve realized communication is a two-way process. You can only communicate with a person who is willing to listen objectively. And that takes courage and patience.
I wish communication skills weren’t limited to our resumes.
I wish we would actively try and communicate despite the initial awkwardness.
I can speak from experience that the rewards of clear communication far outweigh any cause of hesitancy or doubts.
